Soooo xmas 08 has passed..i got a new northface backpack, nike running shoes, uggs (which i specifically asked not for but now i prob will wear despite my very long history of hating them), new ipod nano which might be the beest present because now i can actually see what im doing..oh and we got wii and wii fit which im obsessed with even though the balance test told me i was in my late 30's..lol i didnt feel as bad after 2 military guys got 20 years older than their actual age as well lol the days leading up to christmas were quiet at times and dramaful at others but hey thats st mary county. the best part of christmas in smc are the lights and horses on flat iron road. it really is the biggest thing to an attraction we have here unless you count the PAX naval base as an attraction. haha so other than catching up on movies (so far i have watched hancock, horton hears a who, stepbrothers, grinch both versions and the dark knight, and im about to go to blockbuster again) i have been working out alot. Today I went to St. Mary's lake which has a 7.5 mile biking trail but I actually decided to run it to start to retrain for a half marathon again. It was cold and I stopped once cuz I tripped over a root haha but I made it..def the first time I have run distance in a while so thats a good first step. hmm well tomorrow meme is coming and then sunday is my moms birthday party thing then monday my sis has a game and tuesday jamie comes home and wed is new years eve :) woo so exciting times ahead..thats about all i can think of. now time to watch some more movies!
so let go all of these mixed emotions...
Friday, December 26, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?
Okay so I havent blogged in a while cuz i have been so busy with finals and stuff but thats not over so that means im back yay...ok so I spent this day reading the entire book entitled the Last Lecture and watching the lecture online. For those of you who have not heard of this amazing story, it is about Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carngeie Mellon, as well as father to a 1, 3, and 5 year old, who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and told he had only 3-6 months left to live. He gave his last lecture, entitled 'Achieveing your childhood Dreams' in September 2007 in his favorite lecture hall at the University, filling all 400 seats. About nine months later, the disease finally got the best of him.
It is not in his illness or death that this story lies however; it actually lies in his life. Reading this book really opened my eyes. Randy was part of so many things in his life and really did believe that whatever it is you want to accomplish you can do it if you are persisitant. This was kind of an emotional day because my mom told me how much Randy reminded her of my dad and things he would say while he was on the rollercaster terminal cancer ride. She said they might have been twins, especially their outlooks on life. I always knew this in my heart but reading this book, in a way, helped me heal even more, which I am always longing and wanting to do. Sorry if this is a little heavy, but I just pretended some of this was coming from my dad, and from what I knew about my dad, I have to agree that him and Randy are very similar. So intelligent, loving toward their families, unselfish, silly, goofy, comforting, strong, persisitant, dream chasing, and never giving in.
The whole talk was about reaching your dreams, helping other get to theirs, and lessons you will learn along the way. No part of the talk was spent talking about feeling sorry for him or what it is liek to live with cancer or how hard it will be for his family. This absolutely blew me away because he had no self guilt and spent his talk on somoething far more valualbe; his life and what he has learned. He claimed this talk was for his kids but I know for a fact it has inspired millions, because I am one of them...If you have an hour watch Randys talk. It may give you just a little hint of how to live happier and breather easier...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
So, I'll leave this with some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -From Walt Disney of course
"...my dad always taught me when there's an elephant in the room, introduce it. If you look at my CT scans, there are approximately ten tumors in my liver, and the docotors told me I have three to six months of good health left. That was a month ago, so you can do the math. All right. That's what it is. We cant change it. We just have to decide how we'll respond. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
"Even if the scan results are bad tomorrow, I just want you to know it feels great to be alive, and to be here today, alive with you. Whatever news we get about the scans, I'm not going to die when I hear it. I won't die the next day, or the day after, or the day after that. So today, right now, well this is a wonderful day. And I want you to know how much I'm enjoying it."
"Not everything needs to be fixed."
If you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. ...in the end, people will show you their good side. Almost everybody has a good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out."
"Complaining doesn't work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it wont make us haappier."
"When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, its really simple. Just ignore everything they say andonly pay attention to what they do."
"Brick walls are not there to keep us out.The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."
When giving an apology, any performance lower than an A just doesnt cut it."
"'Please tell them about having fun, because that's what I will remember you for.' And I said, 'I can do that, but its kind of like a fish talking about the importance of water.' I mean, I dont know how NOT to have fun. I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left, because there's no other way to play it."
'When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you, that means they've given up on you."
"Just because you're in the drivers seat doesn't mean you have to run people over."
It is not in his illness or death that this story lies however; it actually lies in his life. Reading this book really opened my eyes. Randy was part of so many things in his life and really did believe that whatever it is you want to accomplish you can do it if you are persisitant. This was kind of an emotional day because my mom told me how much Randy reminded her of my dad and things he would say while he was on the rollercaster terminal cancer ride. She said they might have been twins, especially their outlooks on life. I always knew this in my heart but reading this book, in a way, helped me heal even more, which I am always longing and wanting to do. Sorry if this is a little heavy, but I just pretended some of this was coming from my dad, and from what I knew about my dad, I have to agree that him and Randy are very similar. So intelligent, loving toward their families, unselfish, silly, goofy, comforting, strong, persisitant, dream chasing, and never giving in.
The whole talk was about reaching your dreams, helping other get to theirs, and lessons you will learn along the way. No part of the talk was spent talking about feeling sorry for him or what it is liek to live with cancer or how hard it will be for his family. This absolutely blew me away because he had no self guilt and spent his talk on somoething far more valualbe; his life and what he has learned. He claimed this talk was for his kids but I know for a fact it has inspired millions, because I am one of them...If you have an hour watch Randys talk. It may give you just a little hint of how to live happier and breather easier...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
So, I'll leave this with some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"If you can dream it, you can do it." -From Walt Disney of course
"...my dad always taught me when there's an elephant in the room, introduce it. If you look at my CT scans, there are approximately ten tumors in my liver, and the docotors told me I have three to six months of good health left. That was a month ago, so you can do the math. All right. That's what it is. We cant change it. We just have to decide how we'll respond. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
"Even if the scan results are bad tomorrow, I just want you to know it feels great to be alive, and to be here today, alive with you. Whatever news we get about the scans, I'm not going to die when I hear it. I won't die the next day, or the day after, or the day after that. So today, right now, well this is a wonderful day. And I want you to know how much I'm enjoying it."
"Not everything needs to be fixed."
If you wait long enough, people will surprise and impress you. ...in the end, people will show you their good side. Almost everybody has a good side. Just keep waiting. It will come out."
"Complaining doesn't work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it wont make us haappier."
"When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, its really simple. Just ignore everything they say andonly pay attention to what they do."
"Brick walls are not there to keep us out.The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."
When giving an apology, any performance lower than an A just doesnt cut it."
"'Please tell them about having fun, because that's what I will remember you for.' And I said, 'I can do that, but its kind of like a fish talking about the importance of water.' I mean, I dont know how NOT to have fun. I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day I have left, because there's no other way to play it."
'When you're screwing up and nobody says anything to you, that means they've given up on you."
"Just because you're in the drivers seat doesn't mean you have to run people over."
Sunday, December 7, 2008
and i need you like a heartbeat...
i cant stop obsessing over t. swift, and i know ive already said this a million times but how does she relate to every mood im in? i feel like everyone around me is sad and its kinda getting to me. seriously all i have done today is some work and intensely stalked people on facebook. a little bit sad. and all this facebook stalking made me mad, mad that so many people have changed and act like they dont care about anyone or anything anymore. i understand getting caught up in your own shit cuz it happens to everyone but there are some people out there who
then i think about messed up stuff that people have done to me, and in some cases, these people have still proved to be good people and apoligized but in other cases, they havent and prob wont aas much as i wish they would. Its actually really sad i still have so much faith in people. It somce in handy sometimes because i do give people the benefit of the doubt but seriously, some people suck. Like i dont want to admit it but some people who are and were extremely close to me just flat out suck as people and do not care about me back. There is a certian situation going on right now and one of my friends is such a huge aasshole and i dont know if they were never put into this context before or how their true colors neever were revealed prior to this, but i cannot get over how they are treating some of the my other friends. Its absolutely baffling, and i do just dismiss it as aa phase but im starting to think that these people are growing into their personality that will stick with them their whole life. Looking for arguments, letting themselves be stepped all over, shutting themselves off from people who care about them, i have seen it all this semester.
and i guess something that me and boom were talking aabout earlier today is starting to get to me...there are so few people that are worth time and effort in this world but why when you find one of them you either do someething to mess it up or they do? why cant we just havenormal relationships with nice people? Why can we neever find the right way to show we care and express our appreciation? First, i thought he was just trippin but then after i thought about it, it really is true. like people who used ot be so important, somehow things have changed between us and no one does anything to stop it..ughh then you just try to make new friends but whats the point if every relationship is goiong to end in no one caring about the other person. i guess i just cant understand why you wouldnt waant to keep in contact with people you love or once did love. finding a good person in this world can be hard and once you have them in your life, show them you care..
ok well i hear they are making peanut butter cookies across the hall so that means i am going there now...ha yea just call me fattie
back up, baby, back up
did you forget everything?
then i think about messed up stuff that people have done to me, and in some cases, these people have still proved to be good people and apoligized but in other cases, they havent and prob wont aas much as i wish they would. Its actually really sad i still have so much faith in people. It somce in handy sometimes because i do give people the benefit of the doubt but seriously, some people suck. Like i dont want to admit it but some people who are and were extremely close to me just flat out suck as people and do not care about me back. There is a certian situation going on right now and one of my friends is such a huge aasshole and i dont know if they were never put into this context before or how their true colors neever were revealed prior to this, but i cannot get over how they are treating some of the my other friends. Its absolutely baffling, and i do just dismiss it as aa phase but im starting to think that these people are growing into their personality that will stick with them their whole life. Looking for arguments, letting themselves be stepped all over, shutting themselves off from people who care about them, i have seen it all this semester.
and i guess something that me and boom were talking aabout earlier today is starting to get to me...there are so few people that are worth time and effort in this world but why when you find one of them you either do someething to mess it up or they do? why cant we just havenormal relationships with nice people? Why can we neever find the right way to show we care and express our appreciation? First, i thought he was just trippin but then after i thought about it, it really is true. like people who used ot be so important, somehow things have changed between us and no one does anything to stop it..ughh then you just try to make new friends but whats the point if every relationship is goiong to end in no one caring about the other person. i guess i just cant understand why you wouldnt waant to keep in contact with people you love or once did love. finding a good person in this world can be hard and once you have them in your life, show them you care..
ok well i hear they are making peanut butter cookies across the hall so that means i am going there now...ha yea just call me fattie
back up, baby, back up
did you forget everything?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
this airplane is a ribbon...
i havent blogged in forever. so this week sucked. two huge tests, didnt do good, and i feel like im suffocating under all the pressure and work i have left to do before next tuesday when i go home. last night was sigkap formal and it was sooo much fun. my matchmaking skills are awesome and the ginger couple and dei and ned had alot of fun. plenty of pictures will be up on facebook soon..when my computer decides to stop acting like its broken all the time.
so the question for tonight is should i go to johns holigay party or should i study with scott? either way, my night is going to be full of gay boys, which i love. i love knowing all the gay boys and the drama with the gay clique. they are so cute with each other and i know its weird but im kind of jealous of them in my own wierd little way. they live in their own little world and its like this private club that no one can really become a part of haha i dunno so ill prob study because im so stressed out about everything. i feel like im always doing work though..
i think i have an unhealthy obsession with lyrics. i know a few of my friends can understand this, but i dont think its normal anymore to sit on my computer for hours and waste my life away looking up lyrics to every single song i love. I used to do it with the purpose of putting away messages up but now i dont really have alot of mysterious away messages but im still addicted to lyrics hunting. any why? i read the lyrics, i love them, but i never do anything with them or see them again. I wish i could write my own poems with the beautifulness that some song lyrics have, but maybe it just wont work because there is no music to my poems. a melody creates something that wasnt there before. The melody can convey emotion or emphasis in a song where if you were just looking at the lyrics, you would never guess. well this doesnt really have a point im just rambling. so im gonna go try to do something productive...
but im scared to death that i wont see you around...
so the question for tonight is should i go to johns holigay party or should i study with scott? either way, my night is going to be full of gay boys, which i love. i love knowing all the gay boys and the drama with the gay clique. they are so cute with each other and i know its weird but im kind of jealous of them in my own wierd little way. they live in their own little world and its like this private club that no one can really become a part of haha i dunno so ill prob study because im so stressed out about everything. i feel like im always doing work though..
i think i have an unhealthy obsession with lyrics. i know a few of my friends can understand this, but i dont think its normal anymore to sit on my computer for hours and waste my life away looking up lyrics to every single song i love. I used to do it with the purpose of putting away messages up but now i dont really have alot of mysterious away messages but im still addicted to lyrics hunting. any why? i read the lyrics, i love them, but i never do anything with them or see them again. I wish i could write my own poems with the beautifulness that some song lyrics have, but maybe it just wont work because there is no music to my poems. a melody creates something that wasnt there before. The melody can convey emotion or emphasis in a song where if you were just looking at the lyrics, you would never guess. well this doesnt really have a point im just rambling. so im gonna go try to do something productive...
but im scared to death that i wont see you around...
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