It is spring break, thursday night to be exact. most of my friends are in cp partying since its thursday night and all..kristen is at a golf pros and tiger hoes party which is hilarious to me and sigkap has a social tonight but i am on my spring break and home in st marys county. i had to suffer in cp alone while everyone else was away on their tropical getaways and now its my turn. I visited catherine in new yok from sat to monday night which and it was only my second time there and we had alot of fun. however, im not a huge fan of NYC, dont think ill ever be. ppl are so selfish and everything is way too fast. no one is enjoying life it seems...but its a cool place to see thats for sure. So then i visited colb for a night now im home in st marys. I washed my car today to get the throw up off of it from mike and our st pattys day adventure at howl at the moon in baltimore, and ive never hand washed my car so that was cool. We got new porch furniture so i sat out on it and chilled. I honestly am so relaxed being home its amazing..This place reminds me that there is more to life than going out getting drunk hooking up blah blah blah..and im really close to being on that more to life side....
it makes me feel wierd though...the past two months have been absolutely insane with student teaching and go go going 24/7. ive been exhausted every day, felt disconnected from my friends and borderline winter depressed in general. and since i was training for my marathon (which i ran 2 weeks ago and got my time goal of under 2 hours!!!! :) ), i think i just physically and emotionally drowned myself. I was struggling just to make it to spring break. That is not how the rest of the smester is gonna be i decided. This week is giving me a breath of fresh air and i do realize that i have 5 weeks leeft of student teaching then its time for GRADUATIOn. this whole graduating college thing is about to happen for real. So on to the reason i feel wierd..i know i should be making the most of my time left in CP...hell i should even be in CP now partying since i can never go out on thursday nights normally...but i just feel so over that whole scene. I feel like my life is gonna go to better places and im sick of the get drunk stand in a bar scene. makes me feel giulty though cuz this has been my life and love for 4 years now. even now being at home, i feel no desire to go out at night and see people. its weird, its like im in a major finding myself stage and i really do just want to be independent and alone right now...and im not trying to say im better than my friends who still partying because trust me before i graduate i will drink with them all, but im not in a rush to do that every night. i kinda feel like i have hit reality sooner then some of them just because of the whole student teaching thing...i dunno really what im saying is i feel like im ready to graduate but i know the second that it happens, ill wanna go back..so its just like wtfff haha whatever, im happy now in st marys, getting rejuvenated for april and may which are going to be 2 of the most exciting months of my life, and yes i seriously mean that...its so good to take a step back and get sleep and rest and not be stressed and sleep in and figure things out and feel healthy again. :) and considering my last couple weeks that have been super rough on me, i think its safe to assume that it can only go up from here!
couldnt wait to get going,
but wasnt quite ready to leave
so innocent, pure and sweet
like american honey
