I have kind of accepted the fact that I write in my blog barely ever anymore. But I am going to keep it forever because it is so cool to get a snapshot of how I was feeling on a particular day or in a particular moment. I do not think I will ever make this blog public, because it has alot of personal things on here, and I like to use it as a stream of conciseness. I think if i did make it public, I would feel the need to censor myself, which is not what I want. So anyway, between the daily grind of teaching and coaching and loving the people around me, my blog has been pushed to the side. As much as I love writing and getting things out there, it takes time, and frankly, I do not have alot of that lying around. Not that anyone needs/wants an update on my life but I will be entering my fourth year teaching and am coaching soccer again...head coach..dun dun dun. Its alot of pressure and alot of new things but I know I can handle it (as much as I am having anxiety attacks now). Okay enough boring stuff.
I have been having some deep issues come up recently and it has made me ponder life, what I want, and how people relate. Hence why I have turned back to my blog...so I can ramble. As I get older, I really cannot understand some peoples actions. As much as I do understand that that persons life experiences is different than mine so they are perceiving things and interpreting things different than me, I cannot understand how that perception turns into such horrible crimes and terrible judgment and erratic behavior as what we see in the world today. I want to love and forgive and learn as I go but I got some stuff I need to work on too. Anyway, this has just been a thought provoking day and I felt like writing, but now I do not even know where to start...so on to a poem I guess...
Wiring
Since the beginning of time. we have this in is
We are wired a certain way
this part connected to that, this thought connected to that
And when we need to run, we do just that
When we need to fight, oh the fight is on
And it can just drag on and on and on
Respect is down, no one feels safe
How does anyone find peace in this place?
Wavering with self doubt and fear on the inside
but we cat show weakness to show so we just keep justifying
Scream and yells
or silence in the air
whatever the case, the feeling isn't fair
Broken relationships, and really thats what no one wants
But you would think it is, with all your evil taunts and flaunts
Take a step back and take control of yourself
you are made for more than this, I can tell
create safety, sacrifice pride
The outcome of the situation will be more open minds
Its hard to fight the wiring we have inside
but believe me my friends, its worth a tiny try.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong." -Gandhi
"The secret to having it all is knowing you already do"
