I am going into my fifth year teaching which is obviously crazy and so hard to believe. I really am in shock that I have been out of college out of Knox box out of crc out of college park drama and past a lot of stuff that has really shaped who I am for four full years now. It's so much easier to talk and joke about all the crap I did and what I learned from it now that I am so far removed but seeing my college friends now and going back and reading things from that time frame really gets me thinking. Was I really that different four years ago? It seems like everything.... Every detail and view I once has has changed. I know there is no point in dwelling in the past but as most females can relate, I can't help it. It kind of helps guide me into better decisions in the future. And it has worked this far so I am going to keep using the past to help me move forward and excel.
So not that anything is ever easy, but not that I am 25 almost 26 I see life totally differently. So many friends as now engaged, married, pregnant, you get the idea. And I am thinking farther into the future and into life. I have matured and grown up so much and all of the stupid painful things I have subjected myself too allowed me to have the strength to say this isn't gonna happen to me anymore, to grow up and mature.
I realize only recently that in life, things are always gojng to be okay. I never beloved people when they said this but now I do. Because all things take time, people have different priorities, different strengths and different outlooks. Yet we are all here on this massive planet trying to get along and figure things out. Everyone works and plays. Everyone lungs for connections. Everyone is doing the same thing, as different and as alone as we need to think we are in order to feel independent. So I have realized that everything is always okay no matter what you think now. You have people that love you And will always be there only if it's
just one. So that's not to say that I don't stress out but something has clicked inside of me and I see that the world will not fall apart if I'm not perfect or don't get everything done this instant.
I use this peace moving forward as every week we face more and not changes and must adapt. Guess that's life....
"I just wanna be ok, be ok, be ok....."
