Tonight I'm wondering how this could've felt so right....
it's a beautiful sky on a beautiful day
but only you can stretch a smile across my face
So I'm waiting, waiting, waiting
for you to be calling, calling, calling
Oh I've been going through a hell of a time
Making sense of all that you left behind
When I arrange it into columns and lines
I always think it's adding up, but it never does
So in the morning maybe I'll be alright
And through the day I'll prepare for the fight
With a fever on a Saturday night
Cause this is giving me the shakes and butterflies, oh
And I think I've had it,
But that makes two of us,
'Cause you've had it with me.
And if you don't stop running you can never breathe
When everything you want is everything you see
And I'll tell you the worst part:
You're exactly the way that I thought you would be
All this time I've been trying to find a way
To close this chapter but nothing ever stays away
It all keeps building, the things that I would say to you
But I've heard them walking late at night
The twins of confusion and regret
And they share ths stories of things that I have done
That I'd rather just forget.
And I have no way of knowing where I'll land
I guess the real question is, I don't know,
Is, why I am afraid of letting go?
I still remember everything,
Every mistake and every apology
Don't blink, don't close your eyes,
But most of all don't apologize.
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now....
Monday, September 26, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Since I ain't got nothing I got nothing to lose...
Havent written since the end of july and lots has happened since then. I am going to give you the 5 sentence summary. I am coaching JV soccer at Great mills. School has started again and I am trying to improve upon last year. I am becoming a young life leader at great mills this fall and we are hopefully starting in the spring. I am debating on whether or not i am going to do my tri on oct 9 for the pure reason i havent had as much time as i would like to train. I have been having some good times around the hood of st marys.
Its my bday tomorrow (golden bday) and tonight has got me thinking about alot. I am going to do my yearly birthday reflection after this (ok ok i know im a nerd, but no one knows it so that is ok) But the main point is just like this song says, sometimes i feel like me having nothing tying me down is a blessing but sometimes i wish i did have something tying me down to give me more of a purpose. Prob not explaining it too well but its so scary to still know my life is in my hands. I am about to be 23.
anyway coaching soccer has taught me alot since august 13. we are three games in and we have won 2 and tied 1. I am excited fo the rest of the season but coaching presents lots of new challenges everyday. Not only do i have to lesson plan and practice plan now, but I need to make sure that what we are doing is productive. It really is the same as being in the classroom but i have so much of myself invested in them that it feels different. i have alot more responsibility but i think i am learning fast.
my students this year are different than last year for sure, in both good and bad ways. i feel like i am taking what happened last year and tweaking it, but i still feel like i need to move slower to make sure they are understanding, which is impossible to do when you have x amount of stuff you need to get through in X amount of time. It is awesome having Abby as a roommate because we can talk about the kids at night when were just chilling. She is going for her national board certification this year, so she has a lot to do and having her to talk to is already helping me become aware of some issues our kids have as well as their stregths and weaknesses across subjects. we had one field trip last week (teambuilding) and were going to sotterly next week. interims are due next week and i havent even tested yet, because of the hurricane...which was the other big thing that has happened around here. soooo much damage that our schools were closed for three days! insane insane insane
i am going to attempt to sleep to rest up for this weekend an everything else going on. Goodnight!
I don't have to worry about things that I don't have
Cause if I ain't got nothing
I got nothing to hold me back
Its my bday tomorrow (golden bday) and tonight has got me thinking about alot. I am going to do my yearly birthday reflection after this (ok ok i know im a nerd, but no one knows it so that is ok) But the main point is just like this song says, sometimes i feel like me having nothing tying me down is a blessing but sometimes i wish i did have something tying me down to give me more of a purpose. Prob not explaining it too well but its so scary to still know my life is in my hands. I am about to be 23.
anyway coaching soccer has taught me alot since august 13. we are three games in and we have won 2 and tied 1. I am excited fo the rest of the season but coaching presents lots of new challenges everyday. Not only do i have to lesson plan and practice plan now, but I need to make sure that what we are doing is productive. It really is the same as being in the classroom but i have so much of myself invested in them that it feels different. i have alot more responsibility but i think i am learning fast.
my students this year are different than last year for sure, in both good and bad ways. i feel like i am taking what happened last year and tweaking it, but i still feel like i need to move slower to make sure they are understanding, which is impossible to do when you have x amount of stuff you need to get through in X amount of time. It is awesome having Abby as a roommate because we can talk about the kids at night when were just chilling. She is going for her national board certification this year, so she has a lot to do and having her to talk to is already helping me become aware of some issues our kids have as well as their stregths and weaknesses across subjects. we had one field trip last week (teambuilding) and were going to sotterly next week. interims are due next week and i havent even tested yet, because of the hurricane...which was the other big thing that has happened around here. soooo much damage that our schools were closed for three days! insane insane insane
i am going to attempt to sleep to rest up for this weekend an everything else going on. Goodnight!
I don't have to worry about things that I don't have
Cause if I ain't got nothing
I got nothing to hold me back
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